so that's how it is

It was getting late and the crowd was still thick, and there were so many wanting to dance and get on stage. It was a might frightening to Alfie as he kept an eye out for Amy. He'd about given up on finding her, but he found her sitting on the edge of the stairwell. She looked a bit sleepy to him, or was she just sad?

He brought her a wine cooler hoping it would help. She almost smiled when he gave it to her. He told her they could go to Ian's now if she liked. Amy nodded, and she followed him up the stairs to the pub and then on to the next floor up above where Ian's flat was.

"Not so bad up here. The sound proofing is great." He smiled and finally, it was nice to take a breather from all the noise. But deep down he was tired as they set on the couch. "So what do you think?"

"About what?" She looked at him cautiously.

"You know, the club." Alfie kept staring at her wondering what would be next.

"Its great." She said so generically and then in the next breath she was so serious. "You want to break up with me, now don't you?"

"What?" Alfie shook his head. "No. No, of course not." He sighed then thinking of all the lasses he'd been with. He could count them all on one hand from the last five years, he could hold up three fingers, and Amy was one of those. "I'm no Casanova, you know. I want to get to know you. I don't fall in love that easily."

"Really? It looks it would be easy for you." She stared him in the eye then.

"Well, it isn't." He scowled a bit. "There was a girl I liked very much in school, but she really liked the rich ones, and I was never really rich so I gave it up to the one who I knew the longest and it ended our friendship very quickly. Its complicated. I'm not that good at it."

"Yes, you are." She blurted.

Alfie almost smirked. Perhaps she was talking about something else entirely. "Am I?"

"You know," she seemed tense trying to explain it to him.

"Well, its refreshing to hear." This was news to him. "You mean, I'm good in bed?"

"Well, we weren't in bed." She recalled.

"Right." What had he started? "We were on the beach."

"It was before the intercourse, actually." She gave him a quick smile, but it fell.

"Oh." He felt a flem ball on the horizon. He wanted to choke it down, but he had to clear his throat. "So, so maybe its a good time to tell me-"

"What that I lost my virginity in the bushes?" She squinted. "He didn't remember. And god knows, his reaction when he found out I was pregnant." She swelled up with a frown. "Then when I thought I'd found true love, he turned out to be a world class puff. I'm beginning to think they might all be puffs." She frowned more. "I was in a terrible relationship with Ste. So abusive. I was almost a goner."

"But what about my brother?" Alfie looked at her then. As if really he was the only one who counted.

"It was nothing." She said coldly. "I was just doing him a favor. Really, it was an accident. That's all it ever was."

"And you're making him pay for it?" Alfie squinted.

"Why not." She sounded indifferent.

"I guess he got what was coming to him." Alfie bluntly put in words what she was saying.

"I guess." She sounded heartless. "He doesn't love me. And, and I can't-I can't-" She was in tears then. "I can't bare to even think of that child now."

"It ended that badly?" Alfie winced. It pained him to think she'd give Liam up so easily.

"Yes," she could hardly say over the tears. "I don't want to be hurt again. I don't."

"You won't." Alfie promised, yet he felt he was promising someone else. Not just Amy. Maybe it was Liam.

in the mix

Billy couldn't believe the crowd of people at the Black Cat. It was stifling. He hoped they knew what they were doing, making the basement a club. As it were there was an overflow at the bar and Kieron had Ste cleaning tables and washing dishes.

When Billy looked at Ste, it was as if Ste hadn't a clue who he was. He hoped it stayed that way. They could remain strangers, forever as far as he was concerned.

Finally, he saw Newt make his way in. Billy brought him a lager as soon as he got up to the bar.

"You're late, what kept you?" Billy looked at him.

"You know how long I waited on the street, luv? A very long time." Newt told him and that Sasha was not alone with the kids. Rhys was there too.

"A lot of good that is," Billy rolled his eyes at that. "How was it with Ames?"

"Not sure." Newt shrugged. "I stayed out of the way. Let her have her time with Leia."

"That's all?" Billy didn't believe it. "You didn't have it out with her?"

"What would be the point?" Newt just smiled. "I don't exist in her eyes, now do I?"

"You'd be surprised. She probably has it all different in her head. I don't trust her, Newt." Billy had to get back to the orders then. It was nonstop. The next thing Billy knew Newt had on an apron and was serving drinks.

"Watch it, you'll get a pinch, you know," Billy smiled.

"Yeah, if they can find my buttocks. Doubtful in this crowd." Newt smirked.

"Well, keep your tips, at least." Billy advised. It was the least he could do.

if I can't

"All right, we got a name, we got the songs down," Ian sighed. "Let's do it." He'd been messing with some electronic music the last few days, and Alfie thought it would fit in perfectly with the base line. So Ian got it started and the beat pulsed through club. The strobe lights glistened and it got everyone in the mood for more.



"If I can't ....If I can't...If I can't have you..... don't understand what to do..." He sang.



He hoped this worked. This was the club. They needed club music. Mount Sims had been inspiration to create his own stuff that they'd start into once they opened with this one. Hopefully, the kiddies would approve. After all they were the majority here.



He felt confident enough as he looked over to Lauren who was putting her femine spin on the song too. Naturally, Fletch was playing right along. He loved the fact that they got along. He hadn't felt this good about their music in some time.



And then he saw her in the crowd. A blond. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Really, this was rather unusual. He never really looked at the crowd. But there she was, turned on and really into the beat. It almost too his breath away. In fact it startled him. She must have been drunk. She had to be, or was it just the music.



Ian couldn't help but smile. Really, the future was looking brighter than he expected.



Unspeakable-Mount Sims



black sunglasses-Mount Sims



black strobe-abwehr disco



inner strings-black strobe

could it be

Naturally, Amy wouldn't pay Billy any mind as he passed right by her. Really, he was totally disgusting. How could she ever have thought he was haute at one time. Funny, how something had exited her then now felt rather pointless even if she had had his child.

Leia on the other hand had kissed her Daddy and hugged him tight before he left. Amy hated to see it. Really, she'd never been all that determined that her child would be that close to her father. But there was nothing she could do about it now.

"I like us being sisters," she then told Leia very playfully.

"But I don't have a sister, just you, Mummy, and my brother, Liam." Leia gave her her smile right back.

Amy lost hers completely then as she looked up to see Newt with the baby.

"I guess you must be ready for the big night," Newt was cheerful and the baby sucked on his pinkie as if Newt was a part of him.

"Could be." She nodded wishing he hadn't spoken to her, but she couldn't stop thinking about Alfie as she stared at Newt now.

"Remember, we're brothers." Newt informed her. "And you better come clean with him about what matters or you're just a waste of his time."

She felt woozy now, just thinking what he'd said. It was a shock that stung her heart. Was that what Alfie had wanted to talk about?

"You're a liar." She said coldly.

"Me?" Newt chuckled. "Come on, Ames, take a load off, you look a tad pale there, you feel'n well?"

She nodded and sat on the couch, letting Leia crawl all over her.

"Leia, you be careful, please." Newt told Leia who just couldn't seem to keep her fingers out of Amy's hair.

"But her hair is so lovely." Leia told him. "No one ever lets me touch it."

"Is it all right if she combs it, Ames?" Newt looked at her.

Amy just nodded.

Leia went to her room then.

"I hope you know what you're in for." Newt sighed. "Good thing its short now." He went to get Liam a bottle then while Leia brought out all sorts of goodies to put in Amy's hair.

Amy bit her upper lip wondering what she was getting into. At least Leia wasn't pulling at her hair too hard.

"Careful. With ease now." Newt coaxed Leia. "You don't want to hurt, Mummy."

"I wouldn't hurt Mummy." Leia was a little cross. She banged the brush into her hair then. The pricks of the brush tingled against her scalp. It made Amy shiver.

"Sorry." Newt winced. "That had to hurt."

Amy grimaced.

"I think she's had enough, you can do mine now." He told Leia.

"I do yours all the time." Leia was in a huff. She went to her room then.

"Look, I do want things to work out with you and Alfie. It could really be something beautiful," Newt then said to Amy. "But its up to you. You've got to tell him everything." He got up then. "I really need to check on Leia, I'd hate for her to be mad at me for not letting her spend time with you."

He left then.

Amy felt herself choking up with tears. She didn't like it this way. She knew how it could be. Newt could be with her and so could Liam. She could be holding Liam right now. She swore she could feel her milk come down just then. There was an ache inside she wanted to go numb and yet it was excited to get out and be open to the world. Only it would not do.

Amy looked up and saw Leia staring at her at the edge of the couch. Newt wasn't coming back. He was off with Liam, upstairs.