8.17.2008

How can you sleep

Newt kept waking up with the same nightmare about Amy. He was in his own bed at the Deans without Billy. A part of him was thankful for that.

What would have Billy thought?

Each time it was worse than falling to the ground without waking up. Newt had been with Amy.

Well, at least the wrapper had saved him, hadn't it.? It was like it really wasn't the same, now was it? He wanted to believe that, but he didn't.

How could it have happened?

He was so good at finding ways to get around this little act. For so long it made everything else so dandy. Or had it?

A swelled frown persisted on his face as he laid there thinking about it. His wanker was no help. It grew hard. It made him all the more restless.

He felt sad, yet happy. How could it be? How could he have done this to Billy?

Actually, Billy had done this same thing to Newt. Only he didn't know either Amy nor Billy at the time, but there was Leia.

That would never happen. A one off like that. There had been the wrapper to protect him. Yes, he was back to that thought.

But it was Amy. Amy. Jesus, what had he done? Turned the course of fate? Had he just done it out of old spite toward Ste. He didn't think so.

He closed his eyes, thought of beautiful Billy. Really, Billy was all that was on his mind. Even then. But had that been enough?

He thought how it could be with Billy. Did he deserve that kind of happiness? Did he really? He nursed his bottom lip, thought of Billy's lips on his. He sank into almost a wet dream with him as he began to wank off.

Amy better stay away from this dream, he thought. God, he wished he hadn't thought her name.

8 comments:

ellie said...

so troubled. i wouldn't be able to sleep, either.

blue hearts said...

I do so feel for Newt. I really do.

Lonnie Love said...

Newt has got a lot to think about.

UmassSlytherin said...

I do love billy. (simon is my favorite, but still.)

incidentally and a bit off topic, I thought of you, ivy, last night while listening to radio disney in the car. the dj on was my absolute favorite: brian. and he was callling old jesse mccartney "jaymac." dude, I laughed myself silly. lmao!!! "jaymac." hahahahahaahah

oh god, too funny.

great update! :)

autumn said...

i can feel him. having that kind of sleepless night. =]

another.ellie said...

That Newt is one of a kind..all his troubles.

Sydney Speel said...

poor newt.

i feel for him!

taffy. said...

god.
i'm about to eat amy right now.
newt and billy are so perfect for each other!
her and her stupid stupidness.