1.18.2009

something in the wind

Newt was frazzled. He'd gone where he thought she'd know. The shops she usually window-shopped. The place where she loved fish and chips the most. Honestly, it was a lost cause. Finally, he found himself down at the train station. Perhaps she left, but on what?

He imagined all sorts of things. Her on the street. Blood on her dress. What if? No, he didn't want to think that might come to an end. The baby had been through so much as it was. It had somehow survived while she was asleep. Of course, what if weren't normal? At all. Then what? It felt like a Catch 22 of some kind. Damned if you. Damned if you don't. What if it wasn't even his?

It was unbearable at times to just get on with things. He did his best not to think about it. When that day arrived he'd just have to hang on like everyone else. And now, she was gone. As if she'd been whisked away with the wind. No one had seen nothing. Nothing to tell.

He walked by the bus step. He got the image of her sitting there hugging herself, waiting for a bus. Newt quickened his step, but as the cars poured by and by the time he got there. Nothing. Like a figment of his imagination.

It wasn't fair. Not knowing. He just needed to find her. Needed to explain things the way they were. But how could he without hurting her. What if he already had? And he didn't even know it. What if she figured it out with Billy? What if she was gone for good?

He was left with the cold and gold of the streetlight. No one to turn too. He heard the train then. It tugged at his heart. She was leaving, wasn't she? Leaving for good.

3 comments:

another.ellie said...

Newt goes through so much. He needs something good to happen to him.

taffy. said...

so is this a relief?
or...

dk'dc said...

I do feel bad for him.