10.12.2010

what ballocks

Josh was a little worried that he hadn't heard from Ste. He guessed. But not really. Things had got so hot and heavy with Fang. He tired not to think that he was possibly breaking up the bloke's marriage. It was like it didn't exist when they were together.

But then he saw Fang down at the shops with his wife and kid. It really stung him, finally. He was a homewrecker. Funny, it just never hit him that he was that. It was all so splendid.

Granted, the nights were late and he never got to wake up next to Fang. He just went on with his job, and tried not to dwell on the fact that Fang was not attainable. Really, he needed to be thinking of Ste. He really did love him. He thought. But it had always been a bit tainted. Being with Ste was like being with a wild one. He was rather unpredictable. And this last little lashing out made Josh realize that Ste was possibly not the right bloke for him. Neither was Fang.

God, why hadn't he taken Simon back when he had a chance?

"When was that chance? Aye?" Ian told Josh he was fool, down at the Black Cat..just after he'd seen what Fang had to go home too. A pretty lass with a cute little tike.

"I feel fuck'n lost, all right." Could he just leave it at that? He couldn't help but feel his life was fucked cause thats all he was looking for lately, a good fuck. "Maybe its time for me to just leave this old town."

"Jesus, would you listen to yourself? You got a fantastic job. You really think you could just start over anywhere? These days?" Ian told him he better think again.

"But I don't want Ste back." It was the honest truth. And he knew he better stay the hell away from Fang, too.

"Man up, will you." Ian gave him a glare. Josh just scowled. What was that suppose to mean?

4 comments:

ellie said...

I still miss Josh with Simon. Just don't see them ever getting back together.

meg said...

He just can't give up on STE like that.

Keith said...

I am so interested to see what happens next.

ori said...

Josh just hasn't found the right person, yet.